-have you ever had a dream and half way through telling somebody and you realize your an idiot?
-id like to think of an old folks home as a new and improved indoor amsterdam...minus the prostitution and the drugs come in crab cakes and prune juice, and not brownies.
-i hate it when im taking a shower and the people who are comfortable with there bodies just throw themselves out there. its like they want you to see them naked. and somehow its the people who throw themselves out there are the ones that we as humans arent comfortable seeing them in that state...
-take a laxative and an absorption pill at the same time and see which one wins..
challenge: do it while on a jog
-one day my dogs were fighting hardcore....my friend yelled out dude your dogs are animals! i said " you sure!....
-statistically guys think about sex every 15 minutes.....make this conversation a little bit more akward you think?
-i have always wanted to go to the old folks home dressed as the grim reaper.
i laugh at the american adoption system....its like "hey give us your kids, and we will fatten em up give em a gun and send em home!!!"
i like crotch rockets. especially the 1000 cc ones....gets rid of all the idiots in the world.
rednecks of mayville arent all bad...like who else doesnt want to learn how to read or shoot carp with a bow and arrow?
